You are now a bit over 3.5 years ago. We don't go through a day without some sort of challenging moment. I'm trying very hard to see you as an individual, but sometimes things just don't make sense to me.
Today, I came across this list that someone posted on Facebook. As I looked at the title of the list, I scoffed a bit, thinking that you probably would only have 1 or 2 of these off the list. To my surprise, you actually have most of these qualities and perhaps I'm crushing your spirit by making you conform to how I think a 3 year old should behave.
I'm going to comment on your qualities as a 3.5 year old girl. One day, when you read this, I hope it come across as funny and adorable. Well, here goes:
Personal Qualities not measured by Tests
Creativity
You are very creative. I don't know anyone else who can take a popsicle stick, some sequins, googly eyes and make a whole family of people.
Critical Thinking
You are a problem solver. You will not accept mediocre answers from me. For example, as I was filling your plate with dinner, I purposefully left out fruit. You asked me why I didn't put any fruit on your plate and I told you, "there's just no more room," and then you showed me how I could scoot some food to the side a bit and make more room.
Another example is that you are always coming up with tools that we could use to get a job done. You rely on scissors too much. I actually have to put the scissors high up, because you are actually really good with scissors and really like to cut things like tags and tape to fix something.
Resilience
We've been calling this trait "brave." When you fall, you bounce right back up. At first thought, I always feel like you are not very resilient. You don't like to stray off the plan, but once you understand why we've deviated from the plan, you usually go along with it.
Motivation
You are highly motivated. Especially when it comes to food. I'm not sure if you are going through a growth spurt, or you are just bored, but you are always saying, "mom! I'm hungry, I'm still hungry!" You are motivated by being able to do thing things Nathan can do. I sometimes forget that there is an entire 23 month age gap between you and your brother and I expect you to act like him. But you are not and I need to be reminded of that.
Persistence
Persistence, ah, that's a nice way of saying stubborn. [cough cough]. That you are. I have a theory that you refusing to go to the bathroom when we see you do the potty dance is a sort of "persistent" behavior. I still don't understand the rationale behind all of this, but one day you'll get it, I know it.
You know what you want and you are OK with going ahead and doing something about it. One day I was taking a snooze on the couch and you wanted a mango. I told you that I would cut one up for you after I wake up in a few minutes. You took matter in your own hands and washed the mango, found a plastic knife, got a cutting board and proceeded to eat the mango at the table. At this point, I was faking sleep to see how far you would get in this process. You finished the mango.
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| Throwing a tantrum in the car because you wanted to get your own cup for water. We gave you a cup, but you wanted to physically get the up by yourself. And then when we got into the car, you are refusing to buckle your straps. |
Curiosity
You are definitely curious. You are always asking, "Mommy, what are you eating?"
You are kind of destructive, but most of the time, you are taking things apart to figure out how it was put together. It drives me nuts, but I know that's what you are doing.
Question Asking
Having a brother who asks 300 questions before breakfast leaves you pretty much knowing everything already. You don't ask a whole lot of questions right now. I expected the "why" phase to be annoying, but you never went through this phase.
Humor
Girl, you've got a sense of humor. You catch onto jokes pretty easily and will repeat them, sometimes putting your own spin on the jokes.
Endurance
This one, we have to work on because unless it's crafting, you've got the attention span of a fruit fly. Also, when it comes to playing games, I'm always encouraging you to just finish. With the right encouragement, you will be able to do anything.
Reliability
The only thing I can rely on you doing is putting your shoes away when we come home. That is something you just do automatically, but with everything else, I have to remind you at least 3 times.
Enthusiasm
You show enthusiasm just like a Disney princess. You shriek with joy, say phrases like, "Oh, I'm so excited" and I know you are really excited about something is when you tell Nathan about it.
Civic Mindedness
We are working on this too. Currently Nathan and I are trying to make you less wasteful. We are trying to cut back on straws and disposable cups. The only thing that gets you to consider not using a straw is the phrase, "whenever you use a straw, you kill a duck." I know, random, right? But we showed you guys a video of straws littering a beach and talked about how the ducks could eat the plastic and choke or die. That's where that came from. Right now you always say you will wash the straw, but you are very unreliable about that.
Self Awareness
I think at this age, you are a bit hyper-self aware. The world is centered around you. Unfortunately, I am starting to see you be affected by society's gender expectations more and more.
Self Discipline
Yep, here's something else we need to work on. You are still very impulsive and if given the opportunity, will eat an entire watermelon. You once ate an entire quarter of a large watermelon in one sitting. Right now, you depend on us to set limits. I need to make an effort to start to let you be able to set those limits for yourself very soon.
Empathy
When apologizing, you are always really great at finishing this phrase, "I am sorry because I know..." You know how your actions affect other people. When reading a book, you will often make a comment about how a character might be feeling right now, given their circumstance.
Leadership
At first I was concerned that you would find it difficult to catch up with the other kids at school because you would be one of the younger ones. But your teachers at school tell me that you actually will help other kids. Sometimes, you can come across as bossy, so we'll be working on that a bit too.
Compassion
You love and adore your brother and sister fervently. You love babies and younger kids. You will sometimes turn down hugs, but most of the time you are happy to give them.
Courage
You are one of those kids who can face anything, as long as you know what you are up against. You are big picture kind of person. I find that I often need to stop and just explain things to you, afterwards, you feel more comfortable and will take more risks.
Sense of Beauty& Wonder
You are a "Stop and smell the roses" kind of gal, and me being a task oriented person, I am always rushing you along. I can see how you can get frustrated if you are not able to fully appreciate/admire something beautiful or wonderful.
Resourcefulness
You are a problem solver and your slight disregard for the rules make you very resourceful in that you will figure out a way to get your way.
Spontaneity
While Nathan is content with staying home and playing with toys, you always want to be outside and doing something. You like going on "adventures."
Humility
Being a little sister, you fully understand that you "are littler and can't do that yet." That doesn't keep you from trying, but in the end, you are ok with not being able to do something...yet.
So after writing this post, I've come to realize that you are a pretty decent human being. I just need to remind myself of your developing qualities and stop to smell the roses with you. Soon this threenager stage will pass and you will enter into the fantastic four stage.
And then I have to brace myself for the terrible two's soon afterwards...
I know I am too hard on you sometimes and that you desperately seek my attention and approval. I will be trying to devote more one on one time with you from now on. You are very special to me and I love you very much. I know you are a very spirited individual, I just pray that I don't clip your wings and prevent you from flying.
Love,
Mommy
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