First Days of Being a Mommy

As I update this post, I have the world's most precious gift laying right next to me. I finally understand what people mean when they said, you don't know love until you have a kid.

I thought I would be bored while I rest and recover from labor, but to tell you the truth, I can stare into the little guy's face all day and be happy. He is just so adorable.

Overall, things are going well. Nathan is pretty much a feeding, pooping, peeing, and sleeping machine. At first, I was a bit overwhelmed with figuring out what his cries and motions meant, but since I've been tracking his feeding and sleeping times, coupled with my observation skillz, I think I have him figured out...for now.

Steve was sick for a few days, which meant that his interaction time with Nathan was very limited and when they occurred, he would don a very fashionable face mask. He's been so supportive and has done a great job taking care of me and running operations of the house. I'm lucky to have him here for the next 2 weeks.

Thanks to Dr. Harvey Carp and his 5 S's, the only time he cries is when we change his diaper. I think he just doesn't like the cold wipes on his bum. So, before we go out and get a wipes warmer, I may try microwaving a few wipes to see if he is a bit calmer with warm wipes.

The home visit mid-wife / lactation specialist came over today and checked Nathan out. Everything is great, except she's a bit concerned about the weight he has lost over the past few days. Now that my milk has finally come in, I've been feeding him on demand and tomorrow we will go in for another weigh-in. Hopefully he is getting the nutrients that he needs.

The two other things I'm concerned about is 1) his left leg, which is a bit bent from being cramped up in the womb and 2) his tongue, which may be a bit "tongue tied." We'll get this checked out when we take him in to see the doctor on Monday.

My mom came in today and will be here for about a week and a half. Even though she lives in Dallas, I really only get to see her for about a week out of the year. I'm excited to have this opportunity to spend some quality time with her.

Emotionally, I feel great and the only physical issues I have are with swelling tissue and healing stitches. Otherwise, I feel like I could live life normally.

That's it for now. Nap time.

Nathan Li Havlir's Birth Story

We got to meet our little honey bun 2 weeks early! So I guess I will continue with the story that I started last post.

So, we were hoping that contractions would kick in around 3 am, so I wouldn't have to take any castor oil and go through extreme diarrhea - but we did. My alarm went off at 6 am and I grudgingly paraded to the kitchen to prepare my oh so delicious breakfast. I think the midwife had told me to take 4 oz of castor oil, but the directions said 1-4 tablespoons, so I kind of compromised and ended up drinking 3 tablespoons of it in a cookies and cream with banana and pb2 milkshake. (Which tasted ok) and then I used another 3 T to scramble 2 eggs. I probably ended up eating 2 of the 3 tablespoons because there was still a lot of oil in the pan after I scrambled the eggs. Castor oil doesn't really taste that bad. It tastes just like vegetable oil, but when you have to consume a lot of it in a short period of time, it's not so palatable.I tried to make the eggs taste better by topping them with some cheese, but as I downed the last couple of bites, my gagging reflex kicked in. Fortunately, I was able to keep them down...for now.

When the midwife first told us to go pick up some castor oil, I'm glad I asked her so, we just go to the automotive isle of the store and and pick up some castor oil? She laughed and explained that castor oil is a laxative that you get at any drug store. I guess if I didn't clarify, I would've probably ended up in the ER that morning.

I then tried to go back to bed. About 30-45 minutes later, let's just say that everything was cleaned out of my system. I even saw the remains of dinner from the night before in the toilet when I was finished. Most people say that it takes about 2 hours for the castor oil to kick in, but it worked really quickly for me. Then, around 7:30, I vomited my breakfast and called the midwife to see if I needed to take anymore of that horrid stuff. Luckily, she said that I didn't need to take any more and contractions would come soon. She advised me eat something light, take a walk and a warm shower.

Around 8:30, a different midwife, Vicki, called me and talked to me about how our goal was to get some contractions started and wanted me to come in to use the breast pump. We agreed to meet up at the birthing center around 10:00. Suddenly, I remembered that the library books were due on Friday and so we stopped by the library to drop off my books before we headed to the center. Somewhere between the birthing center and the library, on William Cannon, I felt this sudden sharp punch to my cervix and then a very tight menstrual cramp-like contraction. This lasted for about 30 seconds. My first, official contraction. Then as we pulled into the parking lot, I felt a second contraction that lasted for about the same amount of time.

As soon as we entered the birthing center, we were taken quickly to our room and as Steve brought stuff in from the car, I sat on the toilet, because I just had this overwhelming pressure near my rectum. Nicole, another midwife on staff came in and started the breast pump on me for about 15 minutes and by 10:30, I felt my next contraction and took the breast pump off for a break. From that point on, my contractions started lasting for about 45 seconds to a minute and were about 3 minutes apart. They felt like heavy menstrual cramps and a strong bowel movement put together. I found that the best position for me to get into to get through the pain was to squat and lean my head against a chair or the bed. I didn't want Steve, or anyone touching me during those few seconds. They started to get more intense and just when I thought that I couldn't take them any longer, the midwifes checked me and by 11:30, I was 8 cm dilated. They asked me if I wanted to get into the tub and I eagerly said yes.

The moment I stepped into the tub, I felt a bit more relaxed. The contractions continued to come on strong, but the warm water helped me relax and I was able to just melt and get through each contraction a bit easier. Towards the end, I had Steve spray warm water on my lower back as each contraction came and went. Vicki checked me again and I was fully dilated.  She told me that from this point on, I would just have to listen to my body. If I felt an urge to push, I should push. The next 2 contractions were nice and gentle. But then on the third one, I felt this different urge, an urge to push. The pressure along my rectum was intense, so I started to push with each contraction. There was a time where I slipped in the tub and so the midwives asked me if I wanted to get out for better footing. I was kind of hoping to give birth in the tub, but I didn't want to slip again, plus, my fingers and toes were getting numb and I was really hot.

I got out of the tub around noon and stumbled onto the bed. Immediately, I resumed a fetal position on my side and suddenly one of the midwives told me to grab my leg and on came another contraction. For those of you who do yoga, this visual may help: I was doing a modified happy baby with my arm around the pit of my knees, while on my left side. Surprisingly, I felt like it was a very good position, with each contraction, the midwives would even press against my foot to help me push. Slowly but steadily I progressed. They kept telling me that I was doing a good job and when I was conscious enough to think I would think to myself, what am I doing a good job of?  I finally just asked them. Steve said that with each push, he could see stretching going on and with each push, I was stretching out about 1 mm more.

The midwives checked Nathan's heart rate almost after each contraction and at some point, it dropped a lot, so they put an oxygen mask on me and told me to push on my hands and knees. This lasted for about 3 contractions and then they had me get on my back for 3 contractions. This pattern continued on for what seemed like an eternity. Each time they told me to change positions, I felt like I was moving so sluggishly because I was just tired of pushing. Around 1:00, Vicki told me that she was going to have to do an episiotomy if this baby doesn't come out soon. For some reason having an episiotomy or a tear was my worst fear so I mustered up my strength and pushed harder. When Nathan's head crowned, I got to feel it and at that point, I knew that the end was near. For the next few contractions, Steve held my hand as I pushed with all my might. (If you can see the picture above, I have some temporary freckles from pushing so hard on my face and neck) Apparently, it wasn't good enough because I saw Vicki take the scalpel out and had this disappointed/worried look on her face. I pretty much begged her to wait one more contraction and that I would push extra hard. Well, we didn't get his head out after the first one, but on the second one, I mustered out 5 pushes with that contraction and out came Nathan. All this time, Vicki was applying warm compresses, massaging the perineum and pushing down there to help coax Nathan out. I felt so confident and was glad that she was delivering my baby.

Well, he came out, head first, then shoulders and apparently what made the labor more difficult that it needed to be was his right arm, which was kind of next to his face, like The Thinker statue. Even now, when he's not swaddled, you will most likely find his little right fist wedged under his chin, just like The Thinker. It's so adorable. By 1:15, Nathan was put on my chest and Steve cut the umbilical cord. Apparently his umbilical cord was shorter than normal and the placenta came out in one piece.

I had 2 small tears and Vicki stitched me up while I bonded with little Nathan. I felt like the most blessed woman on this world because I had just delivered a healthy little boy who was just so fragile and innocent.

Nathan took on breastfeeding like a pro and after some paperwork, a shower for me and a bath for him, by 7:30, we were headed home, ready to start Chapter 3 of our life.

Umm...That's Not Pee

So, tomorrow marks the official 38 weeks, but I just had to make a final post because my WATER JUST BROKE! [Gross details spoiler alert! Skip to next paragraph if you want to be spared the details] After rearranging the pantry and mopping the floor, I sat down for some lunch in front of the TV. When I finished,  I stood up and suddenly felt this warm rush of liquid and I quickly darted to the bathroom. At this point, I thought to myself...bladder incontinence...should've done more Kegals. I put a fresh pair of undies on and to be on the safe side, also put a pad on. I went back to lay on the couch to finish the episode of Nip Tuck. When the episode was over about 15 minutes later, I stood up again and felt the same rush. By this point, I was getting a bit suspicious because I had just emptied my bladder. I went to the bathroom and sure enough, liquid did come out, and in fact, so much had come out that the pantyliner that I just put in was completely soaked. I noticed that the liquid was clear and had no odor. I thought to myself, did my water just break? 

Being the 21st century girl that I am, I quickly Googled "How do you know if your water broke" and read a bunch of articles. Many of the test involved a microscope slide or litmus paper, both things that I used to have access to easily, but not any more. So, I decided to call the birthing center and told them all the details and the midwife said it sounded like I was leaking amniotic fluid and for me to go in to check.

Well, it turns out, the litmus paper turned bluish purple, and the fluids created a crystal pattern on the slide: both signs that it is amniotic fluid. She used the ultrasound to determine the position of the baby, and his head was engaged and his spine is along my right side. So, at this point, I asked the midwife for a timeline and she says that usually the protocol is to have labor started within 24 hours of the water breaking. They sent me home with some herbs, which I am to take 1 teaspoon every hour. They also recommended that I go take a walk and massage my uterus to naturally induce contractions. And apparently contractions usually start 4-6 hours after your water breaks, so I guess we'll see if I'm on schedule.

I had a feeling that our Honey Bun would come early, but I thought we would at least make it to October. I'm starting to grow anxious and excited about the new life that God is about to bring into our lives.

So, I guess that's it for now. The waiting game begins.

Week 37...Officially At Term

So, this honey bun could come out of the oven any day now and have a good chance of surviving. Overall, I'm still feeling pretty good, the only difference is that I feel like I'm waddling more, my Zumba is progressively getting even more spaz-like and I'm craving unhealthy food all of a sudden. All I want is some fried chicken and hot wings!

I don't feel like I'm much bigger than I was last week, but I feel a bit more cramped as my mobility is definitely more limited. I'm pretty much ready to meet this baby already! Here's a picture that I took today. 

I guess my bump is a bit smaller than average because everywhere I go, people still ask me how many months I have left. When I respond with 3-4 weeks, they seem surprised. As my due date quickly approaches, all the books and articles that I've read indicate that at this point, I should've gained all the weight that I should've gained (if not start to lose a pound or two). I've only gained about 21 pounds this pregnancy and I'm hoping to maintain (not lose) any weight until the due date. So, maybe I will give in to my fried food cravings.

Either earlier this week, or over the weekend, I went ahead and made 2 covers for our smaller than average changing pad. I don't think I could find a cover that would fit our changing pad so I looked up a tutorial and made my own. It was actually very easy and I'm really pleased with how it turned out. Here are a few pictures:

View from the side

Elastic Bottom. This was the first time that I've ever worked with elastic. Surprisingly simple.

With the cooler weather and extra time on my hands, I've been spending more time in the kitchen. This week I've made my red white and blue (cranberry, blueberry and white chocolate) oatmeal cookies, beer bread (which kind of failed), a batch of butternut squash ice cream, and dinner for the week along with several meals to freeze for post-pregnancy meals. I am so thankful that I have been able to go through the "tougher" parts of pregnancy without having to work. In fact, I've been the most relaxed that I have ever been in my life. I know, I know, I should enjoy it while it lasts.

Last night I got Steve to watch the movie, What to Expect When You're Expecting. I guess the bad reviews on Netflix lowered my expectations because I ended up liking the movie and Steve liked it too. There were a few key side characters that just made the most hilarious comments that left my cheeks and ab muscles sore. Chris Rock and the co-worker of  Elizabeth Bank's character were by far my favorites.

Throughout the movie I actually had a difficult time figuring out which woman I could relate to the most. I could see a part of my eccentric pregnant self in each of the expecting women. But in the end, I think I can relate most to the Cameron Diaz character. I just hope I will have her strength when it comes time for delivery.

I love the idea of a daddy's group. I kind of wish more of our friends had kids so that something like that could exist, but who knows...

Week 36.5

So, I just returned from my weekly midwife visit and I have some good news to share. Found out that I am just under 2 cm dilated, my cervix is pretty much effaced (thinned out and ripe) which is a bit not like typical first births, and the baby is laying at a -1 station (he's 1 cm above the lachial spine). Based on these clues, the midwife predicts that I will have an on-time, if not early birth.

Apparently our little honey bun has already "dropped." I always felt like I would be able to feel him drop into my pelvis, but I guess he just made a slow descent.

I also got a chance to see him one last time before he's born on the ultrasound machine. We saw that his head was in the right position, we saw a strong heart beat, spine, ribs, and a little hand. He definitely looks a bit cramped up in there.

Another thing the midwife told me is that the baby is small, so she suspects that it will be a relatively easy birth. I'll keep my fingers crossed for that one.

Week 36...One more month

It's hard to believe that in less than a month, we will be meeting the one person who will be changing our lives the most. But the weird part of it is that I think I looked more forward (was more excited) about upcoming birthdays or Christmas time as a kid than I do feel now about getting a new baby. I just kind of feel like I should be more excited.

Well, the weather has officially started to cool off (for now) and this weekend the temperature was in the 70's in the morning. This led us to be very productive. While I prepped the the fall garden, Steve took all of my classroom stuff from the garage into the attic. Then we cleaned out the garage. I even swept the disgusting window sill with all the bugs! This week I'm going to clean the patio so that we can start to enjoy a few meals and evenings sitting out back.

I'm looking at my to-do list and I think back to the time where I was telling all my teacher friends that with so much free time, I could come in and co-teach with them and do all sorts of volunteer work. But, I've been pretty busy. At the beginning of the third trimester, I was complaining of exhaustion in the afternoon, but now I seem to have as much energy as I ever had. I'm staying relatively active and don't really feel like the need for any naps these days. I guess that's a good thing.

Besides the cleaning of the house this weekend, Steve and I pulled out the camera and tripod and conducted our own pregnancy photo shoot. I've been working on editing the pictures for the past 2 days and here they are!

I'm really pleased at how these turned out. Pregnancy is an exciting time and I'm glad we now have some mementos to help us remember it.

Oh, last night, per suggestion from my friend Rashmi, I put together a playlist with relaxing music for labor. Those of you who have done this, what were your favorite songs to push to?

Week 35...and the nesting begins!

As I stare at this giant pile of paper goods, I think to myself, nesting behavior has begun!

(In the defense of my sanity, they were on sale.)

I don't think my nesting instinct has hit full force, but I'm starting to notice little things around the house that I need to do. Today I "dusted" the house with pledge, and tomorrow, I think I will clear out the cobwebs that have formed in the dark corners over the years.

I've also noticed a huge collection of bugs on our window sill in the garage, but I'm not sure if I'm brave or crazy enough to tackle that just yet.

As far as pregnancy feelings go, I'm still feeling pretty good, although I'm finding my Zumba moves to be a bit lackluster in nature. I simply just can't conjure the energy to roll my wrist or swing my hips like I used to. Sleep is getting a bit worse because I'm waking up more often to go to the bathroom. The worst thing about it is that the moment after I empty my bladder and start groping my way back to bed, I feel the urge to urinate once more. I go back, and one drop comes out. It's really just annoying.


My belly is getting bigger. I have a feeling that it may get a little bit bigger, but not much more. According to the pregnancy app that I have on my phone, baby should still be growing, but my amniotic sac is shrinking. (Perhaps this is why I'm running to the bathroom so often during the night). So the give and take should leave my belly about the same size. I haven't posted a bare belly picture yet, so I decided to take a picture of the bump before I went to the pool today. Considering that I one of the most modest people that I know, this will probably be the only time in my life where I post a picture of me in my bathing suit on the internet.

We just got our shipment of cloth diapering supplies in today. I'm going to work on washing everything this weekend. I'm glad that I ordered different brands of everything. This way I can see which products I like and order more for when our Honey Bun gets a bit bigger.

We also finished packing our stuff for the birthing center. Now, before I tell you the funny part, I have to preface it with the fact that the birthing center gave us a checklist of things to bring, like baby clothes, diapers, caps, socks, underwear, comfortable birthing clothes, etc. So Steve actually decided to jump on the gun and started this process last week. He put some baby clothes, 2 pairs of his underwear, his swimming trunks and an outfit into the suitcase. I made fun of him because I'm pretty sure that they were thinking about clothes for me. I know, some of you may be thinking, well, Steve will be there for a few days and will need those items, but we won't be there for too long. They pretty much kick you out after 6-8 hours after giving birth. In the end, Steve's stuff is still in the suitcase. Who knows, maybe he will end up needing them after all.

Now that I've embarrassed Steve, I'll embarrass myself a bit. So according to Steve, I have been acting a bit irrational lately. For example, when he packed the baby clothes in the suitcase, he just threw them in there. My crazy self thought, I can't believe he just threw the clean clothes into that suitcase without at least wiping down the inside. Who knows what type of germs are in there. In hindsight, I was being way too protective. I'm thankful that Steve did not call me out that moment when I said something to him about wiping down the suitcase. It takes a really good man to wait for a good moment to say, "Honey, I love you, but [that] was just ridiculous."

As the birth date gets closer, the thought of labor and the pain that comes with it is starting to worry me a bit more. Previously, I felt that I would be strong enough to handle it, but doubt is starting to creep in. I will definitely be counting on God for strength and endurance through this experience. I'm going to need it.