Walking at Week 69

Dear Hailey, 

At about a week before your 16 month birthday, you have finally mastered  become proficient at walking. And since this is a new skill of yours, you are very eager to practice, especially when everyone around you (including strangers) are so encouraging. I can see the pride in your face when you walk. You want everyone to see you walking. 

This past week you seem to have also reached a new milestone as far as communication goes. You now will sign "book," "sleep" and "cracker." You've also become quite the parrot as you like to mimic silly things that I say. 

You also want to do all of the things that the big kids do. You even tried to push yourself while standing on a scooter. Did you fall? Yes, but that didn't stop you from getting right back up again. 

Last weekend we went to a birthday party at a trampoline park. You were so excited to run around and attempted to jump. You are so excited about your new walking skill and you are so eager to practice it wherever we go.

Nathan,
I've recently pinpointed where your anger issues are coming from: me. You usually find it difficult to let go of your anger when you feel like you've been treated unfairly. While this is completely normal, you are extra sensitive and get angry over things out of your control or are really insignificant. You tend to want to seek revenge. So, I did what any modern mom does these days, I googled "revenge-seeking behaviors kid." I read through the first few search results and have realized that I don't give you enough praise for the things you do well. You are definitely a smarter than average kid, so I've actually been trying to not praise you too much so I don't inflate your ego, but I guess I've done too good a job. I've also been quick to criticize when you come to me with issues, again not validating your worth as an individual.

Anyways, here are the ways I plan on doing better:
1) Be more of an empathetic listener. I'm normally a great listener for my peers, but I need to extend that to you and just listen without immediately giving advice or turning it around to ask what you did to cause the problem.

2) For you I plan on doling out less negative reinforcement. For example, if you do something wrong, instead of taking away screen time or  making you sit in time out, I will try to have you make amends instead. It even works the other way. If you accidentally hurt Hannah, you will hurt yourself in return because that is "fair." I think I have focused too much on fairness and equality.  Instead of being "fair" like an eye for an eye, I'm going to try to encourage you to turn the other cheek, or at least, if you hurt them, help them be ok and then help them find goggles.

3) Spend more quality time with you and focus on the good things that you do. These past 2 years have been crazy with juggling family and raising a baby that doesn't like to sleep. I finally feel like things are settling into a more predictable schedule so that I can actually set a time to intentionally spend quality time with you. It's actually both of our love languages, so that will work well.

You are a patient kid who works hard and has an attention span the size of an elephant.

At Sunday school this past weekend you built a tower with marshmallows and toothpicks. A week ago you did this activity at school, but you failed miserably, which made you so disappointed in yourself. Remember that your best is the best that you can do.

Hannah,
I've been so used to Nathan's long attention span, I get annoyed when you quit things like board games and legos prematurely. But I have to remind myself that this behavior is normal. Something I've been working on for the past few months is to not bark orders at you. I actually noticed that you can be very bossy around other kids, and to my horror, realized that I was the root of the problem. Things are going well.

On Wednesday, the school had their STEAM night where different groups had interactive booths set up. Scientific illusions and color changing pencils were a big hit with you guys.

As was the wood stenciling station.

And then you guys spent the rest of the time at the robotics and lego station.

Hailey, even you got to explore the fair on your own two legs.

The de-cluttering and cleaning is going well, although it has slowed down significantly as I run out of areas to clean.   Overall, I feel more at peace and I don't always have "I need to clean the house" on my mind. It's nice. Recently, I went through pictures and I was able to let go of most of my pictures from my youth. This makes me consider taking less pictures of you guys. Will taking more pictures make the pictures less valuable? Is less really more when it comes to pictures of your kids?

Anyways, that's all for this week. We have a SUPER exciting week coming up!

Love,
Mommy

New Things Going on in the New Year

Dear Kids, 

This post is once again, late. But I have a good reason. I feel like this picture below represents the state of our house for the past 2 weeks and slowly, I'm seeing the silver lining. I've been reading Marie Condo's book, The Life Changing Magic of Cleaning Up. I've also been watching her Netflix show and I've been inspired to Marie Condo (used as a verb) our house. Here are a few of my take-aways from these past few days. 

Basic premise of Marie Condo's method is to keep only things that spark joy in your life and then organize them in a way that they are easily accessible and visible. 

1. After following her "program" I now have a different attitude about cleaning. I used to see it as a dreaded chore, something that has always lingered pestered me, beckoning me to organize once again so the kids could just mess things up again. Quickly things were done simply out of necessity. Clothes were sorted, but they were thrown in drawers haphazardly, most of the time unfolded. Now as I see the fruits of my labor slowly start to reveal itself as neat and organized, in an almost satisfying way, I now see cleaning up as an art and take more pride in folding, and organizing the things of our home. 

 Nathan, you are getting better at not wanting to keep every toy/paper you own. Hannah, you are a pro at folding clothes, and Hailey...you like to make sure I fold things perfectly, and if it's not to your standards, you make it known.

 2. My grandparents grew up during the depression, and that made my parents fairly frugal people, reusing things, saving everything usable, basically mild cases of hoarding. They have passed that tendency down to me so as a surveyed my belongings, I found that I had so much stuff that I was only saving for the sake of saving. (Being a crafty person doesn't help either because you never know if you'll need that some day). Part of Marie Condo's method involves thanking each item that you are discarding, which may sound hokey to some, but to me, it's not so much that I'm thanking the item because it hears me, but it's more for me to have closure, to know that the item has served its purpose and will move on to serve someone else purpose.

3. Overall, I feel more peaceful. Before I went through this process, I was always thinking, "I need to clean the house." But now that we've cut out so much of the clutter, that thought doesn't cross my mind. Don't get me wrong, clutter does eventually creep back in, but almost everything has a spot now so it's easy to just put it away instead of in the junk basket.

Am I done with the process? No. Not even close, but I feel like I'm at a spot where I am content. I will definitely continue as the days go on, but I've literally put so much of life on hold (like this blog) to jump start this process of tidying up. I really hope that this will be sustainable and will be a skill that will be passed down to you guys.

Hailey, peer pressure still continues to work well for coaxing you to eat vegetables. Every time I am introducing a new food, I'll have you watch Nathan and Hannah eat it first. Almost always, you end up following their lead to eat and enjoy the food.

Yum, Roasted Cauliflower! 

 You've recently discovered dipping. You love ketchup and cheese. I took this picture below after you demolished a package of cheese and breasticks.

 Hailey, you've also become so helpful with groceries. You definitely have preferences on where you want to sit on the cart. Sometimes you want to sit in the seat, sometimes you want to stand. You are getting very good at pointing and communicating.

You are also getting pretty good at using a spoon. For the most part you can scoop and get most of what you scooped into your mouth.

You are still waking up twice at night for a quick 10-15 minute feed. I'm really considering measures to encourage you to sleep through the night. You are walking for about 10 feet before you topple over and you are babbling up a storm. I think you are currently teething, molars are coming in, so that's been...fun. You have actually started to sign and say words this week. Your first word may be "na na" for banana or milk. "A dun" (All done). You can sign "milk," "sleep" and "book." 

You are absolutely adorable and I'm going to treasure these moments of innocence and wonder. 

Hannah, 

We finally signed you up for the thing you've been wanting to do forever and you absolutely love it. On Mondays I drop you off for at a mother's morning out dance program. So far, your favorite form of dance is hip hop. 

 You've also learned how to cross the monkey bars all by yourself! You saw a friend cross and then you said, "I will never be able to do that!" I took a double take and immediately replied, "hey, let's just try 2 bars, I bet you can do 2." So you proceeded to start and you did 2, then 3, then 4, and then you dropped. You stood up, thought about it and said, "I wanna try again!" And before you know it, you were crossing the whole thing by yourself! Proud mama moment.

Hannah you also finished your first lego set all by yourself. I had to help you find a few pieces, but as far as assembling, you did it all by yourself. Nathan, you completed a 1,700+ piece kit all by yourself as well. It was a quiet week in the Havlir house. You each have a couple of more kits, but I'm saving those for a rainy day.

Almost everyone in the family got new cuts last week. I started with Teddy, then Nathan wanted a trim, and then Hannah you told me that you wanted short hair like me, so I tried to copy what Reyna, my hairstylist does with my hair and I think it turned out pretty cute. It's also way easier to maintain. No more tangles! Win!

We set up our back to roots aquaponics fish tank. Nathan read the directions, while we set up the tank and we invited 2 guppies, Little Fire and Blueberry, into our homes.

 The next day, we lost them. Considering how long we had them, you both were very sad about the death. I have a feeling that when it's time for Teddy to leave, it's going to affect you both. I need to start getting prepared on how to explain this concept to you in a way that won't cause you to fear death like I did as a child.

 On Saturday, we met up with some friends for a yummy Chinese dinner. Nathan, I don't know why you have a grumpy face in the picture. We ordered all of your favorite foods...Sometimes you just don't like being in pictures.

 And last week, I signed you two up for mixed martial arts. Originally, this was something that Nathan really wanted to do, but at the trial class, Hannah, you decided you wanted to give it a go as well and ended up loving it. So now we have you both in it and we've been trying to make it to 3 classes a week.

Nathan, you lost your third front tooth yesterday. Now you have a gigantic gap in front but surprisingly, your speech has not been affected much. Sometimes I'll mess with you by making whistling sounds as you speak, but you just think it's funny for a little and then ask me to stop really quick. The picture below is actually a 2 teeth gap. I'll have to take an updated 3 teeth gap tomorrow. 

Well, here's to new skills, new classes, new teeth, and new tidy habits!

Until next week,
Love,
Mommy

Shenanigans in Chicago

Dear Nathan, Hannah, and Hailey, 

On New Years Eve, we returned from a 10 day trip to...

that's right, Chicago. But before I go into the details of our adventures, let's rewind back to some of the highlights before the trip. 

Hannah, you were an angel in your class's performance of "Away in a Manger." I don't think I will ever forget the quiet, but angelic voices as you all sang and performed hand motions to go along with the song. I'm so glad that this phase of life is not over because in 2 years, Hailey will get to attend preschool too. 

 We then went with some friends to visit a light show put on by a college student who collects donations to grant wishes for Make a Wish foundation. We were very impressed by the intricately wrapped trees. His dad said that starting in August, the kid would drive home from college on the weekends to set everything up. What an inspiring story! 

 On the last day of school, Nathan's class put on a play for the parents. It was the Gingerbread Cowboy. Nathan, being one of the 2 narrators, complained about your role. You were very disappointed about how you could only sit and not run around on the stage.

Everyone remembered their lines and did a great job. You guys even wrapped up the performance with the classical choral piece, "Deep in the Heart of Texas."

The next day, we boarded an airplane and headed north to Chicago. Hailey was quite the squirmy worm, but right when I thought I couldn't take it any longer, you slept for about 40 minutes, which helped a bit.

The first day there, we visited grandma's parents and we celebrated Christmas early with the cousins (once removed...I think?) 

 We ate pizza and went swimming, what could be better?!?!

 Although we only got about a half inch of snow while we were there, there was enough snow left over from the last snow that we were able to make a tiny snowman.

One morning, you guys went to go see the new Mary Poppins movie. I didn't get to go because Hailey needed to take a nap and I was still coughing (boo). Overall, everyone enjoyed the movie. We then spent that afternoon at the local library, which I absolutely love. Even though our own local branch is getting renovated, I don't think it will even come close to this place when it is finished. Besides having an amazing selection of books, Hailey had lots of fun playing on the sensory board.

 And Hannah, you had a grand time building this giant ball ramp with me and Hailey while Nathan was reading his book.

 Hailey, you being newly introduced to slides and slightly obsessed with them at this point, decided that this would make a good slide...but you quickly discovered the forces of friction because cotton on foam does not make for a thrilling ride.

 The static between the foam made for some interesting pictures.

 Crazy hair!

The next day, Christmas eve, we visit grandpa's parents and great grandpa gives you a quick brush up lesson on the gut bucket. Nathan, you've been talking about this and looking forward to playing it even before we left Texas.

And the three of you worked together to create a path that gave the marbles a run for their money. Hailey, it's so nice to know that you've finally started to figure out what things are food and what is not. I love this toy. We have a similar set at our house with lots of pieces, but I just like how this one is designed so much better.

 That evening, you guys decorated Christmas tree cookies with grandma. They had to be Christmas trees because Uncle Timmy said that Santa's favorite cookies were the Christmas tree ones.

 You guys left out these cookies, with a message written by Nathan for Santa, and the reindeer got a few cups of shredded carrots for a little treat. Hannah, you were very upset at yourself for forgetting to bring your reindeer food that you made at school.

 So Christmas morning came, we opened presents, went to church (I stayed home because I was still coughing pretty badly) and when we had some down time, Nathan, you helped Uncle Timmy build the model of the Mayflower that we gave him.

 For lunch, we went to grandpa's parents' house for a Christmas party. I didn't do a great job of taking pictures because it is hands down my favorite event of the year and I was just too in-the-moment to remember. There's always a pot luck meal, a hilarious game of a white elephant gift exchange where it is possible to leave with 3 ridiculous gifts, or no gifts (which is usually the better end of the deal).

And then after the real presents are opened, the Christmas band reunites for their annual show. Nathan, opened the show with an amazing gut bucket performance until you suffered an injury when your toe and the broomstick had a meeting. Afterwards, you migrated to the role of interpretive dancer / drummer. I remember Daddy and I having to stop playing because we were keeling over in laughter. Nathan, you've got a lot of heart when you dance. That's all I have to say. Hannah, you faithfully kept the rhythm of the band going with your impressive bongo playing.

 And then Nathan, you became the photographer and took lots of great videos of our musical selections. Great grandma and grandpa have lots of figures that sing when you push a button or walk past a sensor. All three of you just loved playing with the figures and making them sing. There was never a quiet moment. So much fun!!!

 The next day, we decided to have Hailey nap on the go and we drove up to Wisconsin to visit the Jelly Belly factory for the umpteenth time, but only because they revamped their tour video... which was very good.

 There's a bunch of little and interesting museums in Kenosha, so we stopped by the natural history museum, 

 and even rode the trolley around the loop.

 And then we stopped by the dinosaur museum, which was the old post office that was literally moved down the street back in the late 30's.

 The next day we went back to visit great grandma and had lunch. Afterwards we played a few games and said our final good-byes (unbeknownst to us because she ended up getting very sick the next day).

 That afternoon we stopped by the chocolate shop that grandma works at and you both got a chance to dip various things in chocolate and decorate those things with more sugar.

 Grandma and grandpa have something that is very rare in Texas: a basement. You guys spent about an hour or so each day playing downstairs. They have a pinball machine, a little bowling game, hockey sticks,

 and even little vintage pedal cars. I know lots of memories have been made in the basement.

 The next day we traveled an hour to Rockford and visited their Children's museum. Wow, it was AMAZING! The largest and best children's museum that I've been to. The museum had lots of places for imaginary play, but also had stations that really hit on all the STEM areas. The exhibits were all very well built and simple without a lot of bells and whistles, which is a good thing. We spent about 4 hours there and could've easily spent another 4 hours. Rockford Discovery Center Museum...visit it if you are ever in the Chicago area. Totally worth the drive if you have kids.

That evening the cousins arrived, which added another layer of crazy to the crazy that we brought to the house. It snowed just enough for you guys to go sledding, (except for Nathan who didn't want to go and was in a very grumpy mood when the cousins first arrived).

 On Sunday, we attended church and at the end of the service, they have the kids go up and dance with musical instruments. Again, Nathan, your moves were quite awesome.

 A light dusting of snow always just makes winter seem so magical. I had to snap a quick photo of the view.

 Between church and back to lunch with the great grandparents' we got in some more sledding. This time, with more light.

 And of course, hot chocolate and snacks to refuel after being out in the cold.

 Hannah, you and your cousin were basically joined at the hip. You literally called each other sister. This reminds me of me and my cousin when we were young. We were best friends and then some drama came between us and now we are not on speaking terms. I think I need to rectify this.

 Back to great grandparents' house for more family fun and sledding. I completely left my phone back at grandma's house so I missed out on more pictures, but Nathan got a personal high score of 735 on the pinball machine. (The high score is around double that). You were extremely proud.

 And then this brings us back to new year's eve. In the morning, right before noon, you guys all went back to the library for their noon-year's eve party. I think there was sparkling soda and snacks involved. I ended up staying behind to pack and had a good catch-up soul-filling conversation with my friend who I had not talked to since your Dad and I got married.

 That afternoon, we had dinner at the airport and boarded the plane. Hailey was pretty much awake all the way until 9:30. Your nap was in the morning and you managed to stay away (mostly happy for 9 hours) The plane was delayed at take-off, and we arrived just in time to see some of the fireworks shoot off downtown (around 10:00). All three of you fell asleep on the way home, and transferred to bed easily. And this brings us to the end of 2018.

The next morning, you guys opened presents from us and Santa and then we went to central market downtown to go ice skating. You guys skated around for about an hour and then we went to get lunch. Nathan, you finished an entire bowl of tikka masala curry all by yourself and Hannah, you were pretty close to finishing yours. You guys usually share a bowl!

 Since coming home, Hailey, you are now sleeping better. You've been taking a good 2 hour nap mid-day and then you've been only waking up once at night. This makes things so much better. On our trip, you were waking up sometimes 3-4 times a night...which made me very grumpy and emotional.

On the first day that Daddy had to go to work, I bribed you guys with doughnuts in order for us to go on a much needed grocery trip in the freezing cold. We ended up having such a good time running in the rain, and the rain died down just in time for me to load the groceries into the car.

 That afternoon, while Hailey napped, we made the sushi candies that Santa brought. The kits were very fancy, and I think we actually dabbled with molecular gastronomy. So cool!

Between the 2 of you, you guys now have 4000 pieces of  new Legos to assemble. You guys have taken over the office and there are lego pieces everywhere. Nathan, you spent 3 hours straight that day working on your Ninjago training facility.

 Today we spent the whole day at home. I've been reading Marie Condo's book and trying to purge anything that doesn't spark joy in hopes to live in a less cluttered house. So in between spurts of cleaning and purging, we play.

 By the afternoon, the sun was shining and beckoning us to go out and play. We explored the creek behind our house and took a long walk around the neighborhood. It was beautiful.

 And then when we returned, you 2 (big kids) went back to the office to work on Legos and Hailey got a chance to help me cook dinner for the first time. I set you up with a little cutting board, a table knife and a piece of chicken. You whacked the knife around haphazardly and only fell off the chair once. I'd say that was a successful cooking session. I think back to all the memories that I've made with the two older ones over these years and I look forward to making many more with you. 

***As we settle back into our regular daily routine, I think back and feel so thankful for being around family. I grew up around lots of family members and to be flying solo (without family) in Austin with 3 kids sometimes seems very isolating. But I am thankful for the close friendships that have formed over these past few years, friends who have been a source of encouragement and support. I can't imagine what life would be like without them. So if you are family reading this, know that we miss you guys always and welcome your visits anytime.  If you are a friend reading this, thank you for taking the time to let us share our lives with you. We value you and consider you our family away from home.