During the summer between the fourth and fifth grade, I decided that I would take the pro-choice stance in the controversial abortion debate. You probably ask why I was even thinking about this topic at the ripe age of nine and my answer would be: summer reading list. As an avid reader, every summer, I eagerly waited for the summer reading list to come out and then I tried to read as many of those books as time allowed. That summer, one of the books on the summer reading list ended up being a book discussing the debate on abortions. (Thinking back, there must have been a mix-up of titles. An abortion book on an elementary summer reading list?!) After reading the book and giving it some thought, I decided that if a woman chose to have an abortion, it must be for a good one, because the decision to give up one's child is not an easy one at that.
Over the years, headlines about protesters at Planned Parenthood facilities came and went and I didn't think much about the issue. If a woman were to get an abortion, she must have thought really long and hard about it. If in the end, she decides to abort the baby, it's her choice. There has got to be a good reason for it.
A few months ago, I applied to volunteer at a local pregnancy resource center. I had to fill out an application and one of the questions asked about my thoughts on abortion. (Since our church supports this center, you can guess that the facility is a pro-life organization.) I truthfully put down something like this:
While I believe that all babies deserve a chance in life, I don't think I am completely against abortions, especially those with just cause. I haven't come across any scenarios yet, but I still feel that the mother should have a choice.
A few days later, my friend discovered that the baby in her womb was diagnosed with trisomy 18. I tried to put myself in her shoes to see whether or not I would decide to keep or abort the baby. While I could make a very compelling argument for having an abortion, I found the decision to be too difficult to make. As for my friend, I prayed that God would make the decision for her. In the end, she decided to terminate the pregnancy, but thankfully (in an odd sort of way) my prayer was answered and I thank God for that. A few weeks later, my friend and I were discussing the matter and I was a bit surprised to hear from her that if this were to happen again, she would just let nature run its course. Through her experience, I had kind of decided in my mind that if we had a similar situation come up, an abortion would be "justified," but now she's saying that she would've regretted it if she did. I guess I won't be having an abortion if a similar situation happened to me.
Many people argue that being pro-choice and supporting feminism go hand in hand. For a long time I would agree. When I was teaching 8th graders, a student came to me for advice. She was pregnant and considering an abortion. While I didn't give her explicit advice on what she should do, I did advise her to think about what her life would be like and what she would be able to provide for the baby if (s)he was born. I was basically telling her that if she had a baby, she wouldn't have the freedom to accomplish what she wanted to do. The baby would hinder her and in turn, she would hinder the baby. Thankfully, she miscarried and didn't have to make that tough ultimate decision.
If that same 8th grader would come to me today, being a mother, I think I would give her different advice, but regardless of the decision that she made, I would respect her for the person that she is.
Being a mother of 2 has shifted my perspective. The "miracle of life" became more real and tangible. In fact, when I had Nathan, it didn't become "real" until I was holding him in my arms. With Hannah, I started to cherish that little "gummy bear" from the moment I found out I was pregnant. Giving up a fetus to me is just as difficult as if (s)he were a full term baby. Life is a miracle. It is precious. Who am I to terminate it?
As I have yet to find a scenario that justifies abortion, I still believe that all babies deserve a chance in life (which makes me pro-life?), but I am not completely against abortions with just cause. And what exactly constitutes "just cause" is really only up to the mother to decide. (Does this make me pro-choice?) God gave people choices and whether we make them good, or bad, we must continue to love one another as God loves us in an awesome and unconditional way.
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