Sleep and Play at 23 Weeks

Dear Hailey, 

Sleep has been stressing me out this week. We've been sleep training you for the longest time. Sleep training for us simply consists of trying to teach you to fall asleep on your own. I'm not even asking you to sleep through the night! 

You've been sleeping on your belly for awhile. But when you started to be able to flip yourself over, sleep just went from bad to worse. Good news is that you are eventually learning to fall asleep on your back. 

Now that you are rolling, we decided to transition you from our bed to your crib. We can't have you rolling off the bed now.

One night you cried for over an hour, so I decided to nurse you to sleep.
The next night, I decided to try the pick up put down method. 3 hours later, you were asleep.
The next night, you whimpered for 15 minutes and fell asleep on your own.
Then next night, you barely fussed for 5 minutes, very quietly, and fell asleep.

So far so good, right?

But then last night, you fussed for about 30 minutes and woke up 30 minutes later.

I'm very frustrated because I know the times you fight sleep are when you are over tired, but the thing is, I try to put you down before you are over tired and you just fight sleep, especially when your big brother and sister are at home.

Today when I would peek in this is what I saw...

Foot gnawing

checking out the infrared light

playing with toes

Finally asleep

Update: I've been reading this blog Precious Little Sleep and the author describes what Hailey is going through to a T. You have officially learned object permanence. To put it sweetly, now you remember who I am and will miss me when you do not see me. For the past few days, I've been rocking you to the point where you are almost asleep and then put you down. You cry for no more than 20 minutes and then fall asleep. Tonight, I changed up the routine a bit and put you down after the lullaby. I expected you to cry and fuss, but you didn't. And 5 minutes later, you were asleep.

Let's see how things go this week. I have a good feeling about this.

Nathan and Hannah,
This perfect weather, combined with no mosquitoes, and no allergies has been the winning combination for long afternoons outside. Usually Hailey is taking a nap inside, you guys are playing outside and I'm doing a little bit of yard work.

You guys really like to play with your scooters, blow bubbles, and draw with chalk.

As I was about to go pull out the non-producing asparagus plants from last year, I discovered a few shoots. We cut them and here was our harvest.

This made for a yummy afternoon snack.

You guys usually aren't thrilled about eating asparagus, but according to you guys, the ones from our garden were pretty awesome! You were picking at them straight out of the pan.

Hailey loves to watch you two play. You both love to make her laugh. 

Hannah had a good idea about putting Hailey's hair in a "ponytail." It definitely gets it out of your eyes.

For the most part, I've figured out how to juggle Hailey's nap times with school pick up. It's much easier because Hailey will now actually fall asleep in the car if you are tired. So one afternoon, we stayed at the gymnastic school's playground for about an hour while you snoozed away in the car.

Hailey, I think the high chair and bouncer is getting old for you. You are no longer content (for too long) sitting in those areas while I prepared dinner. Both Nathan and Hannah liked their jumpy seat, but it was one of those things that we donated a long time ago, so I basically traded some old toys for this new-to-us bouncy seat at a consignment store. As you can see, Hailey enjoys it a lot.

I had to make sure you older kids didn't push her or try to make her bounce too much.

Hannah's getting pretty good at sitting through games. You really enjoy being the letter caller in alphabet bingo. And you are getting pretty good at playing Jaipur, which is rated a 8+ aged game.

Today was the rodeo at school. Nathan decided to dress up as a rodeo clown, so we came up with this silly outfit.

You had a lot of fun at the rodeo and you were so sweet to set up stations when you got home since Hannah was not able to attend. (Hannah has a little cough).

Tonight, we were eating dinner and Nathan picks up a black slice of shitake mushroom, wiggles it around and asks, "What is this thing? Armadillo tail?" We all busted into laughter and upon further analysis, it really sheds light on the variety of foods that we eat. Maybe not armadillo tail, but it maybe opo squash or fish cheeks instead. Being able to expose you guys to different foods is something that I'm proud to be able to do. A few years ago, it was a struggle, but I'm glad and feel very lucky that both of you are becoming more willing to try. Most of the time, if you think you won't like it, Nathan, you squish your face, purse your lips right before you try the food and shake it vigorously the moment it touches your lips. Hannah, you are always so eager to try and eager to say, "Yumm!" but I really have to resort to looking at your face to tell if you really like it or not.

Next week is spring break, so I'm sure I'll have plenty to report on then. Until next week,
Love,
Mommy

Hailey is 5 Months Old!

Dear Nathan, Hannah and Hailey, 

I really need to come up with an abbreviated name for all three of you kids if I'm going to write these letters to you each week. I better put my thinking cap on and get on it. 

This week you big kids have been very interested in playing with dolls. Fights have broken out over who gets what baby, and then there are times where the babies are simply thrown in a corner and left to fend for themselves. One day, Hailey was being pretty fussy around the time I needed to make dinner. So we all wore our babies around the house as we got stuff done. 

 It's amazing what strangers can get you guys to do. It doesn't matter if we've told you this 100 times before, but when someone comes to school and tells you something once, it automatically becomes the gospel truth. Last week a dentist came to your school to talk about dental hygiene. You should floss after every meal. Hannah took this pretty literally and was flossing after every bite.

 Hannah, you have started to be a little more interested in Perler beading. You can sit down for a longer period of time to work on a project. Here, you are making a pretty awesome rapping banana. He became an internet sensation back in the early 2000's. Here's the link: Peanut Butter Jelly Time


And Nathan, you worked on an R2D2 for your friend, Parker. He turned 4 this month.

 So naturally, he had a birthday party. Of the birthday parties that we've been to, this one was very impressive. BB-8 pinata, made by Parker's mom herself...

 there were light saber battles, games, and lots of yummy food. And since Parker has a peanut allergy to, we didn't have to be hyper vigilant about Nathan being exposed to any peanut candies or sandwiches.

On Sunday, Hailey and I went over to our friends, the Browns to prepare an Indian feast. Hailey made friends really quickly. 

 On Tuesday, we all went over to enjoy the fruits of our labor. The big kids sat at the kids table and you all told each other jokes, while taking bites once in awhile.

 As you can see, it was quite the feast. I had sent over a list of options that we could make, and we ended up making everything! What a treat!

Hailey, I think you are finally over that horrible 4 month sleep regression. You are generally more happy and content. Night time feedings are now short, especially now that you are sleeping with me. But I think this sleeping arrangement will have to change soon because you are getting into the habit of nursing to sleep. 

You are extremely social and will give anyone who interacts with you a coy little smile, which is definitely a crowd pleaser. 

 The other night I noticed that Hannah was being a little bossy, telling what Nathan should and shouldn't do. I asked you, "Do you boss the other kids around at school too?" You then replied, "When I do, the teachers always ask me, Hannah, are you the teacher? And then I say, [with a silly expression on your face] no, I'm not.]

At least you know that you are bossy.

For craft time this week, we painted wooden Easter eggs. It was fun just to sit down and hang out with you two, crafting and relaxing.

Hailey, you pretty much gets hungry anytime you smell food. It doesn't matter if I just fed you, but you start to get as cranky as the granny on a Snickers bar commercial. So one morning as I was making Hannah and Nathan's sandwiches, I gave you a little taste of avocado. You liked it! 

So far you have not given me the "yuck" face on any solid food that I've exposed you to. You may be our best eater yet.

Hailey, after your leap, you are sleeping a little longer now a days. 14-15 hours a day, as opposed to the 12-13 hour days. I think this is closer to what all the guidelines on sleep say. You are taking 2 longer naps, once from 10-12ish and then another from 2-4ish. Around dinner, you'll snooze for about 15 minutes and then go to bed between 7:30 and 8:00. You wake up between 10:30 and 11:30 for a quick feed and afterwards, you'll probably wake up around 2 times to feed, but you quickly fall back asleep. I'm pretty much half-asleep during this time, so I don't even bother keeping track. But I usually see the clock at either 2:00, 4:00 or 6:00 am on a regular basis, so I think its safe to say that you then wake up every 2-4 hours. You are also feeding 7 times a day and you just hit 13 pounds this week. I've been weighing you every night during the growth spurt and in the span of 2 days, you grew 5 oz. Crazy, right?

Well, that's about it for now. Sorry for the late post, I hosted a craft night at our house last night, so instead of blogging, I was crafting.

Love,
Mommy 

Chinese New Year and Craziness (Sleep Regression, Mental Leap, Growth Spurt...whatever you call it) of Week 21

Dear Hailey, 

Things have been a bit crazy this week. When I thought last week was crazy with the feedings every 2 hours, you upped your game and started to fight sleep too. You seem like you are insatiable, irritable, and at times just inconsolable. 

I gave you another try at yogurt, and you absolutely love it. You will grab the spoon and immediately shove it in your mouth. If I take it away, you fuss. I've also tried letting you suck/bite on pieces of cooked asparagus and cauliflower. You seem to like the flavor of those things as well. You are definitely a foodie baby, because whenever you smell food, you want to eat. So I guess I'll just have to have something ready for you at meal times. 

 Putting you down to sleep is getting quite difficult. Sometimes I'm spending just as much time putting you down as you are staying asleep. When I walk into our bedroom with you and turn on the white noise, you immediately know it's bedtime and you start to cry. Sometimes I will nurse you until you calm down, sometimes you will suck on a pacifier for a few minutes and then calm down, but I've started to just carry you around and bounce you in the baby carrier until you get drowsy. I then put you down and you will slowly fall asleep. If I put you down too early, you will cry and protest. It took me 1.5 hours to get you to nap this morning...exhausting.

There is a silver lining, however. Starting yesterday, you have generally just been more happy. Your naps are at least 1.5 hours each and I think you've grown in length. Suddenly your 3 month onsies absolutely don't fit you anymore, so I've pulled out the 6 month clothing. 

Hopefully things start to settle down and we can start establishing a good schedule. Maybe I'll be able to leave the house and plan on being able to get things done. 

It's been frustrating for me because much of what I did with Nathan and Hannah does not work with you. Luckily I have a great arsenal of what has worked for other moms to try on you. A part of me feels like I need to parent all three of you the same way, but I'm learning, very quickly, that this is not going to happen. I pray that God will continue to remind me of this. You are each unique and have different needs. 

Dear Nathan and Hannah, 

The weather these past few days (up until today) has been amazing. 70 degree weather, cloudy days, and no more cedar pollen! So, we've been spending lots of time outside. I just had to take pictures of these colorful drawings that you guys drew on the drive way. 

Family Movie Night Backwards

Cat and the Hat along with Nick and Sally

 On Sunday, Chinese school had a Chinese New Year celebration. There was food traditionally eaten on new years,

 a photo booth where you can dress up in traditional chinese clothing,

I really wanted to get a picture of both of you looking all cute and dressed up, but Hannah was not in the mood for pictures. 

 Eventually you warmed up, but boy, getting both of you to smile at the same time sure is tough.

 There was also a station where you could try to write traditional Chinese characters for decoration. The Chinese hang pieces of red paper with auspicious words and phrases written on it in calligraphy. I remember my grandfather putting up new ones each new year.

 You guys also raced paper jumping frogs, which was super fun.

 And even participated in some traditional night market games.

 And the teachers also had prepared a Chinese version of head banz.

 And there were plenty of crafts to be made. Overall, Nathan thought it was the best day of Chinese school ever, and Hannah was happy to be able to join in on the fun.

 Recently both of you have gotten really interested in playing with your babies.

 One windy afternoon, I took all three of you out to the school fields to fly kites. It was pretty hectic for me because helping a 3 and 5 year old fly 2 kites on a small field is a lot to manage.
1) "Mom, it crashed, again! Help me!"
2) I needed to make sure you guys didn't get too close to each other.
3) There were trees to contend with.
4) I kept yelling, "Make sure the wind is on your back!"
5) Hailey

 We survived for about an hour. When kite strings started to break, kites got stuck in trees, and babies started to cry, I decided it was time to go home.

The next day, it drizzled a bit in the afternoon so you guys decided to go outside to wait for puddles to form. While you were waiting, you two were too cute and just talked.

I'm slowly starting to get the hang of coordinating the chaos of life with 3 kids, along with all the other responsibilities that I'm committed to.

Well, that's it for this week.
Until next time,
Love,
Mommy

Hailey 20 Weeks Old

Dear Hailey,

One of the things that people always say when they first meet you is, "Wow, look at all that hair!" 

For comparison, here's Hannah at 4 months: 

 And Nathan at 4 months:

 So, you've been going through a growth spurt, which explains all this craziness in sleep. It turns out you've been crying because you are hungry. For awhile I thought it was gas caused by something I ate, because the screams and grunts are absolutely heart wrenching. And since it could've been gas, I didn't want to feed you too much. But I think you were actually just hungry, because after awhile, I would just give in and feed you and eventually you would just drift off to sleep.

This was 2 nights ago after you woke up screaming in pain (we thought). We let you hang out in the office while we got some work done. You would cry, we'd hold you for a bit and then you'd be happy again. 

Yesterday you took 2 naps around 3 hours in length each, which is not normal. You usually take one long nap and 2 shorter 30 minute naps. We'll see how much you grow after this spurt. The reward for extra-disrupted sleep and fussiness is a cool noticeable growth and maybe some new skills like..........sitting up.

Last night, you went to bed at usual 8:00. But 30 minutes you woke up, like it was a nap, hungry, but afterwards, happy. So while Mommy and Daddy completed our Crated with Love (date night in a box) activities, you just sat and observed as we played crazy games like feather soccer. We noticed that you kept wanting to sit up in your bouncer. We would lean you back, but then you would pop right back up. Kind of cool. Did you want to wake up so you could try out this new ability?
 You've also been more interested in putting things in your mouth. If you are awake while I'm prepping, I will usually give you a little piece of the vegetable that I'm cutting up for you to explore. Here you are getting your first taste of asparagus. You've also tried little licks of avocado and yogurt without giving me a "yuck" face.

 You are definitely more aware of your surroundings. You really love the sound of jingle bells and you giggled really hard for the first time while I was working with Teddy on his tricks. I'm going to try to load the video at the end of the blog.

 Your brother and sister love you very much and want to keep you. Some days they will use you to be slightly hurtful to one another. They say things like, "I am angry with you. I like Hailey 100 stars and you 99 stars."

When you get fussy, often the sight of Nathan or Hannah will stop your fussiness and tears. You see them and your eyes light up. It's cute. But sometimes they get too loud and they startle you. You get this look on your face as you shudder and then you pause, and then let out this loud wail.

Dear Nathan and Hannah, 

It's been a crazy week with holidays. Tuesday was fat Tuesday. Wednesday was Valentines day and Friday will be Chinese New Year. 

Hannah, I've been trying to lengthen your attention span for completing tasks. It seems like when we play games or are doing a craft, you have the attention span of Dory the fish. It could be just normal for a 3 year old, but at least finish a short game. When we play games, you always say you want to be on someone's team. I don't know why you tend to do that, but I want you to start playing for yourself soon as well. You are now capable. 

You continue to enjoy insist on wearing Nathan's old jammies and shoes. They can be torn up and battered, at times too big, but you really love wearing his stuff. Does it make you feel like a big kid? *shrug* I don't know. You are definitely my most strong willed child. And often I have to remind myself that when you cause chaos, paint with yogurt, cut up paper into 100 little pieces, you are like Curious George. You are simply exploring and not meaning to make me angry. 

Nathan, you continue to learn ways to deal with Hannah's stubborn behavior. Often you will try to reason with her and show her why this toy is better than the toy you are playing with. She still wants to play with whatever you are playing. I don't think that will ever end. Sorry for the bad news. You have started to pinch her, or in your words, "Whack her very lightly on the head." when you absolutely get frustrated. I understand, you've tried using your words and she still doesn't follow directions. 

In this case, both of you get sent to time out. There was an extremely sweet moment this past weekend when Nathan was asking Hannah to stop moving a piece of track, Hannah continued to do so and then Nathan "lightly whacked her very lightly on the head," causing Hannah to cry. (Most of the time you cry not because it hurts physically, but that the fact that Nathan is being ill-willed towards you, hurts your feelings). 

I intervened and sent both of you to time out. After a few moments. I heard the following dialogue: 

Nathan: Hannah, I'm sorry I whacked you lightly on your head. 

Hannah: I forgive you. 

Nathan: [Waiting for Hannah to say something but she doesn't] Well, why are you in time out? Is it because you didn't follow directions? 

Hannah: Yes. I didn't follow your directions. I'm sorry. I should follow your directions. 

I hear hugging and then giggling as they both crawled into the guest bed, making a tent. 

All I did was send them to time out. 

On Friday, we had our monthly family service group project meeting. This month we made cool sun catchers for residents at a senior assisted living facility. I don't know if this is related, but at the event, we talked about why it would be nice to make these for the seniors. That evening and a few days following, both of you had lots of thoughts about death and being sick. 

Nathan, you expressed that when you die, you want to die at the same time as we do. 

Hannah, you were very worried about various parts of your body falling off or breaking. Luckily we have God's promises to help comfort us when we have doubts like this. I've always feared death, not the actual act itself, but the unknown void that comes after dying. But as I learn more about God, his promises and his will for us, those fears have slowly dissolved away. 

Nathan, lately I've noticed that you are slowly starting to let society's expectation of gender roles influence you. Suddenly pink and purple are girl colors. You are OK with wearing Hannah's jacket in the privacy of our own car, but as soon as we stepped into public, you would take it off and refuse to wear it.  There have been other instances where something similar has happened, but it's interesting to me how early this starts. I didn't think this started until later. In the meantime, I try to tell you that we shouldn't worry about what other people think, but I know that is a tough struggle, even for myself.

The world that we are going to send you out into is full of temptation, selfishness, and hurt. I pray that God will use us to mold you three into people who will bring light into this dark and scary world and will be a beacon to lead others into seeking, serving, and loving God.

Love,
Mom and Dad

Sleep Training Hailey Take 2

Dear Hailey,
Whew, when it comes to bedtime, you put up a good fight. Before we left for Christmas, we did a short session of having you cry it out in order to learn how to fall asleep on your own. That worked pretty well. But then we went on vacation and things got a bit more hectic, so we decided to officially start sleep training you after we got back from our California trip. I think you had gotten over your 4 month sleep regression before we left, so I was comfortable giving it a go when we got back. For both Nathan and Hannah, we sleep trained after we returned home from our Christmas trips.

Tuesday night: You cried 45 minutes before finally settling down to sleep.
Wednesday night: You cried 30 minutes.
Thursday night: You cried 60 minutes and then I went in and helped you fall asleep by patting you.
Friday night: You were calm and quiet for about 15 minutes and then cried for 30 minutes. This totally faked us out.
Saturday night: You fussed for 20 minutes before falling asleep.
Tonight: After going through the routine, as soon as I turned off the lights, you started to cry. I could not calm you down. It was as if you knew you were about to be left alone. So, I put you down to see if you would eventually fall asleep, (since you were going to cry anyways). Well, an hour later, you are still crying on and off so I pick you up and nurse you some. I try to put you down again and as soon as you realized what I was about to do, you cried again.

I decided to change the scenery a bit, thinking maybe you have developed a bad sleep association with your crib, so I brought you down, nursed you a little more, and put you down in our bed. You looked around and fell right asleep.

Nathan and Hannah were both trained in 3 days. Textbook cases. God gave me you to remind me that all children are different.

So, we are going to reset. I'm going to follow my mom instincts and do what I think works best for you. I need to remember that you are not Nathan or Hannah and not feel like I need to do things exactly like how I did with them. You are a different kid.

Here's the plan. I'm going to continue to establish a stronger sleep routine in your bedroom, but then put your down to sleep in our room. I feel like you are more comfortable in our bed (mentally) so I'll sleep train you in our bed. Then slowly, for naps, I'll sneak you in your bed once in awhile to get you used to sleeping in your crib. And maybe in a month, we'll do another session of cry it out in your own crib (after you have learned to fall asleep on your own in our bed) and hopefully, it won't be as bad.

It's been a tough few evenings. For now, my nerves can rest.

Love,
Mommy