Hailey 20 Weeks Old

Dear Hailey,

One of the things that people always say when they first meet you is, "Wow, look at all that hair!" 

For comparison, here's Hannah at 4 months: 

 And Nathan at 4 months:

 So, you've been going through a growth spurt, which explains all this craziness in sleep. It turns out you've been crying because you are hungry. For awhile I thought it was gas caused by something I ate, because the screams and grunts are absolutely heart wrenching. And since it could've been gas, I didn't want to feed you too much. But I think you were actually just hungry, because after awhile, I would just give in and feed you and eventually you would just drift off to sleep.

This was 2 nights ago after you woke up screaming in pain (we thought). We let you hang out in the office while we got some work done. You would cry, we'd hold you for a bit and then you'd be happy again. 

Yesterday you took 2 naps around 3 hours in length each, which is not normal. You usually take one long nap and 2 shorter 30 minute naps. We'll see how much you grow after this spurt. The reward for extra-disrupted sleep and fussiness is a cool noticeable growth and maybe some new skills like..........sitting up.

Last night, you went to bed at usual 8:00. But 30 minutes you woke up, like it was a nap, hungry, but afterwards, happy. So while Mommy and Daddy completed our Crated with Love (date night in a box) activities, you just sat and observed as we played crazy games like feather soccer. We noticed that you kept wanting to sit up in your bouncer. We would lean you back, but then you would pop right back up. Kind of cool. Did you want to wake up so you could try out this new ability?
 You've also been more interested in putting things in your mouth. If you are awake while I'm prepping, I will usually give you a little piece of the vegetable that I'm cutting up for you to explore. Here you are getting your first taste of asparagus. You've also tried little licks of avocado and yogurt without giving me a "yuck" face.

 You are definitely more aware of your surroundings. You really love the sound of jingle bells and you giggled really hard for the first time while I was working with Teddy on his tricks. I'm going to try to load the video at the end of the blog.

 Your brother and sister love you very much and want to keep you. Some days they will use you to be slightly hurtful to one another. They say things like, "I am angry with you. I like Hailey 100 stars and you 99 stars."

When you get fussy, often the sight of Nathan or Hannah will stop your fussiness and tears. You see them and your eyes light up. It's cute. But sometimes they get too loud and they startle you. You get this look on your face as you shudder and then you pause, and then let out this loud wail.

Dear Nathan and Hannah, 

It's been a crazy week with holidays. Tuesday was fat Tuesday. Wednesday was Valentines day and Friday will be Chinese New Year. 

Hannah, I've been trying to lengthen your attention span for completing tasks. It seems like when we play games or are doing a craft, you have the attention span of Dory the fish. It could be just normal for a 3 year old, but at least finish a short game. When we play games, you always say you want to be on someone's team. I don't know why you tend to do that, but I want you to start playing for yourself soon as well. You are now capable. 

You continue to enjoy insist on wearing Nathan's old jammies and shoes. They can be torn up and battered, at times too big, but you really love wearing his stuff. Does it make you feel like a big kid? *shrug* I don't know. You are definitely my most strong willed child. And often I have to remind myself that when you cause chaos, paint with yogurt, cut up paper into 100 little pieces, you are like Curious George. You are simply exploring and not meaning to make me angry. 

Nathan, you continue to learn ways to deal with Hannah's stubborn behavior. Often you will try to reason with her and show her why this toy is better than the toy you are playing with. She still wants to play with whatever you are playing. I don't think that will ever end. Sorry for the bad news. You have started to pinch her, or in your words, "Whack her very lightly on the head." when you absolutely get frustrated. I understand, you've tried using your words and she still doesn't follow directions. 

In this case, both of you get sent to time out. There was an extremely sweet moment this past weekend when Nathan was asking Hannah to stop moving a piece of track, Hannah continued to do so and then Nathan "lightly whacked her very lightly on the head," causing Hannah to cry. (Most of the time you cry not because it hurts physically, but that the fact that Nathan is being ill-willed towards you, hurts your feelings). 

I intervened and sent both of you to time out. After a few moments. I heard the following dialogue: 

Nathan: Hannah, I'm sorry I whacked you lightly on your head. 

Hannah: I forgive you. 

Nathan: [Waiting for Hannah to say something but she doesn't] Well, why are you in time out? Is it because you didn't follow directions? 

Hannah: Yes. I didn't follow your directions. I'm sorry. I should follow your directions. 

I hear hugging and then giggling as they both crawled into the guest bed, making a tent. 

All I did was send them to time out. 

On Friday, we had our monthly family service group project meeting. This month we made cool sun catchers for residents at a senior assisted living facility. I don't know if this is related, but at the event, we talked about why it would be nice to make these for the seniors. That evening and a few days following, both of you had lots of thoughts about death and being sick. 

Nathan, you expressed that when you die, you want to die at the same time as we do. 

Hannah, you were very worried about various parts of your body falling off or breaking. Luckily we have God's promises to help comfort us when we have doubts like this. I've always feared death, not the actual act itself, but the unknown void that comes after dying. But as I learn more about God, his promises and his will for us, those fears have slowly dissolved away. 

Nathan, lately I've noticed that you are slowly starting to let society's expectation of gender roles influence you. Suddenly pink and purple are girl colors. You are OK with wearing Hannah's jacket in the privacy of our own car, but as soon as we stepped into public, you would take it off and refuse to wear it.  There have been other instances where something similar has happened, but it's interesting to me how early this starts. I didn't think this started until later. In the meantime, I try to tell you that we shouldn't worry about what other people think, but I know that is a tough struggle, even for myself.

The world that we are going to send you out into is full of temptation, selfishness, and hurt. I pray that God will use us to mold you three into people who will bring light into this dark and scary world and will be a beacon to lead others into seeking, serving, and loving God.

Love,
Mom and Dad