Walking at Week 69

Dear Hailey, 

At about a week before your 16 month birthday, you have finally mastered  become proficient at walking. And since this is a new skill of yours, you are very eager to practice, especially when everyone around you (including strangers) are so encouraging. I can see the pride in your face when you walk. You want everyone to see you walking. 

This past week you seem to have also reached a new milestone as far as communication goes. You now will sign "book," "sleep" and "cracker." You've also become quite the parrot as you like to mimic silly things that I say. 

You also want to do all of the things that the big kids do. You even tried to push yourself while standing on a scooter. Did you fall? Yes, but that didn't stop you from getting right back up again. 

Last weekend we went to a birthday party at a trampoline park. You were so excited to run around and attempted to jump. You are so excited about your new walking skill and you are so eager to practice it wherever we go.

Nathan,
I've recently pinpointed where your anger issues are coming from: me. You usually find it difficult to let go of your anger when you feel like you've been treated unfairly. While this is completely normal, you are extra sensitive and get angry over things out of your control or are really insignificant. You tend to want to seek revenge. So, I did what any modern mom does these days, I googled "revenge-seeking behaviors kid." I read through the first few search results and have realized that I don't give you enough praise for the things you do well. You are definitely a smarter than average kid, so I've actually been trying to not praise you too much so I don't inflate your ego, but I guess I've done too good a job. I've also been quick to criticize when you come to me with issues, again not validating your worth as an individual.

Anyways, here are the ways I plan on doing better:
1) Be more of an empathetic listener. I'm normally a great listener for my peers, but I need to extend that to you and just listen without immediately giving advice or turning it around to ask what you did to cause the problem.

2) For you I plan on doling out less negative reinforcement. For example, if you do something wrong, instead of taking away screen time or  making you sit in time out, I will try to have you make amends instead. It even works the other way. If you accidentally hurt Hannah, you will hurt yourself in return because that is "fair." I think I have focused too much on fairness and equality.  Instead of being "fair" like an eye for an eye, I'm going to try to encourage you to turn the other cheek, or at least, if you hurt them, help them be ok and then help them find goggles.

3) Spend more quality time with you and focus on the good things that you do. These past 2 years have been crazy with juggling family and raising a baby that doesn't like to sleep. I finally feel like things are settling into a more predictable schedule so that I can actually set a time to intentionally spend quality time with you. It's actually both of our love languages, so that will work well.

You are a patient kid who works hard and has an attention span the size of an elephant.

At Sunday school this past weekend you built a tower with marshmallows and toothpicks. A week ago you did this activity at school, but you failed miserably, which made you so disappointed in yourself. Remember that your best is the best that you can do.

Hannah,
I've been so used to Nathan's long attention span, I get annoyed when you quit things like board games and legos prematurely. But I have to remind myself that this behavior is normal. Something I've been working on for the past few months is to not bark orders at you. I actually noticed that you can be very bossy around other kids, and to my horror, realized that I was the root of the problem. Things are going well.

On Wednesday, the school had their STEAM night where different groups had interactive booths set up. Scientific illusions and color changing pencils were a big hit with you guys.

As was the wood stenciling station.

And then you guys spent the rest of the time at the robotics and lego station.

Hailey, even you got to explore the fair on your own two legs.

The de-cluttering and cleaning is going well, although it has slowed down significantly as I run out of areas to clean.   Overall, I feel more at peace and I don't always have "I need to clean the house" on my mind. It's nice. Recently, I went through pictures and I was able to let go of most of my pictures from my youth. This makes me consider taking less pictures of you guys. Will taking more pictures make the pictures less valuable? Is less really more when it comes to pictures of your kids?

Anyways, that's all for this week. We have a SUPER exciting week coming up!

Love,
Mommy