Wanting to Love More

Since Nathan has been going to bed at a reasonable time, I've had the evenings to myself. I usually fill the time with curriculum planning, guitar, or "Nemo's Reef," a silly game that I'm glad that crashed and forced me to start over so I'm not playing it anymore. Recently, I've found myself a bit bored in the evenings, so I decided to start reading again.

I don't know if it's the lack of mental stimulation, or something that God has put on my heart, but I really yearn to know and love Him more. Recently, church has been uninspiring, and so I tried to find a book that may help me out. I'm in the middle of reading this one:

Without going into the details of the book, because there are several professionally written reviews about this book, I'm just going to share how I have been inspired so far. Almost halfway through the book, Chan describes the "lukewarm Christian." And I happen to fit the description perfectly: my life is relatively going well; I attend church weekly; I am somewhat involved at church; and I have a general plan of what I want to do with my life. My prayers have mostly been prayers of Thanksgiving, and I haven't really had to pray to God for anything. In other words, I haven't had to depend on God. 

But what really hit me hard was when I read this scenario that Chan paints of Heaven. Imagine a place where you get to be with all of your loved ones. Things are pretty much perfect. The only thing missing is God. Would you be ok with that? 

I honestly thought to myself, actually, I think I would be ok with it. 

But I don't want to be OK with it. 

Chan suggests that we pray and ask God to help us learn to Love him more. So, I guess if you are reading this, I'm asking for your prayers in this matter. I want to genuinely love God because He is so worthy of our love. I want to understand this love so that I can guide my children into loving God, and knowing Him in a personal and relevant way. How awesome would that be? 

In college, I met a girl who was truly in love with God. You could just tell and if she weren't so genuine about it, it probably would've been border line annoying. To her, God was not an idea or someone she mentioned only at church or when discussing religious matters, God was the reason she would say things. Almost everything that came out of her mouth exhibited an adoration for God's works. It was inspiring to be around her. 

So, I know that it is possible. To truly know and love God not lukewarmly, but passionately, and intentionally, all the time. May God help me.